


Fly Me to the Moon

by Daiya_Darko



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-08
Updated: 2013-06-08
Packaged: 2017-12-14 07:39:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/834367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daiya_Darko/pseuds/Daiya_Darko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eidetic memory is annoying for Pavel until Hikaru gives him something to remember.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fly Me to the Moon

Pavel remembers everything. Eidetic memory should be a blessing, but he finds it more a curse than anything else, really. People use him as a walking computer when they have perfectly functional computers in their hands. He sees and hears things he wishes he could forget.

Like his first time at the helm.

He had attempted to enter his authorization code and embarrassed himself with his accent.

Pavel also remembers the sympathetic smile Hikaru had given him.

Their first day at the helm and both had completely made fools of themselves.

Pavel remembers feeling a rush of relief when he saw Hikaru landed safely on that platform and helped take out the Romulans and the drill. He had been so excited and proud for this man he didn't even know aside from his name.

Pavel remembers how that sprint to the transporter room felt like a jog across the tundra against the wind. He saved Hikaru and as a bonus, their future captain.

But he couldn't save Spock's mother and that never leaves Pavel's memory, no matter how hard he tries to forget.

He could save a cute guy and Kirk falling through the air but a stationary target?

Pavel counts to ten and closes his eyes.

The things Pavel remembers are constantly being overwritten until they begin to merge and blend, a messily edited film with full director's commentary.

There's a bonus scene he likes to rewind frequently, however - the shared smile of success when they defeated Nero. It warms him to his core to think how Hikaru still barely knew him but immediately looked to him to share this joyous occasion.

When they returned to the academy, Pavel let Hikaru go his own way. He looked so mature and old, wise beyond his years. He met up with Kirk and McCoy and walked off with them, laughing about something. Pavel remembers feeling jealous and impossibly young.

Pavel didn't try to reconnect with Hikaru until they ended up on a bounty hunt for John Harrison. He remembers the barely hidden look of disappointment on Hikaru's face when he was made chief engineer.

He remembers wanting to tell Kirk he'd be a terrible engineer, but wanting to look mature and responsible in front of Hikaru.

Pavel hated working in engineering. He likes it enough as a hobby, but it's different when hundreds of lives fall to you to press the right buttons and make the right calls.

Pavel remembers how happy Hikaru looked when he finally returned, and remembers how happy he was just to be back on the bridge.

Remembering used to be a burden on Pavel until he met Hikaru. Now, he catalogues his every movement, noting how smoothly those strong fingers jot across the helm's interface. Pavel takes in every detail of Hikaru's face to learn what he's thinking about and when. His brow furrows, relaxes, and his lips mutter something silently before ending with a smirk.

Pavel memorizes the first time Hikaru touches him, skin on skin, the way his finger tips are only a little calloused. His uniform hides his muscles, but Pavel can just barely detect their movement underneath the fabric. Hikaru smiles a genuine, bright smile and says, "I like you, Pavel. You don't have to worry about annoying me."

Looking down at where Hikaru's fingers rub gently against Pavel's wrist, holding him in place, Pavel swallows and nods. He wants to remember this forever, how he can practically feel their pulses beating in harmony.

And then Hikaru's touch is gone, his attention focused elsewhere. He mingles with some friends, and Pavel silently excuses himself to his quarters. He still feels intimidated by his new crewmates who only see the computer or the child when they look at him.

Pavel would like to be neither. He also can't think of a time when his age and intelligence weren't the only things people cared about.

That must mean it never happen.

Pavel cleans his boots and presses his clothing. He cleans his room, his bathroom, then himself. This is a new habit, because Pavel doesn't recall being so clean when high strung. Usually he's never high strung, however, so he figures this will just set a precedent.

As he pulls on a pair of loose shorts and drapes his towel over his shoulders, he decides to look into mind-altering techniques to forget things. He has no more room for information, for detailed breakdowns of Hikaru's body. He trudges from the communal showers all low ranking members in command share and bumps into Hikaru.

"Where did you go? I wanted to talk to you, remember?" Hikaru asks, implying that he was even looking for Pavel.

"I remember. I thought you changed your mind."

Hikaru pulls him by the hand down the hall and to his room.

Not Pavel's – _Hikaru's_.

It's dark except for a sunlamp over a few plants, and the entire place smells of earth and body odor. Pavel inhales deeply and tries to remember.

"Yeah, sorry about that. Just been busy with work and all...why would I change my mind? If I want to do something, I do it." Hikaru looks confused with a hint of admonishment, makin Pavel embarrassed for no real reason.

“Sorry. A lot of people say they want to talk to me and then they never do. I either intimidate them or creep them out.”

When Hikaru laughs, Pavel’s heart flutters hopefully. Perhaps he hasn’t ruined everything yet.

“I just think that since we’ll be spending a lot of time together soon, we should at least get used to each other’s company. I’d like us to be more than just partners. Hopefully, we can be friends too,” Hikaru smiles encouragingly and Pavel returns the expression.

“Yes, I would like that. You seem to have a lot of friends.”

Hikaru lets out an exasperated chuckle and shakes his head. “I don’t have a lot of friends; I just don’t turn down offers to hang out. Jim and Leonard are really my only friends, and Jim only became my friend once he saw me fight. Leonard became my friend because of Jim, since they’re like a package deal.”

There’s something almost sad, longing in Hikaru’s voice at the mention of Jim and Leonard’s friendship, and Pavel wonders why.

“I would like to be your friend. I didn’t have many at the academy myself, and no one on the ship really treats me like an adult or even a living being.” Pavel doesn’t mean to make himself sound pitiful, but he figures it can’t be helped - he is pitiful.

Hikaru touches him again, and Pavel holds back a gasp. Hikaru has callouses on his hands, and yet they’re softer than anything Pavel’s ever felt. He bites back a soft moan when Hikaru rubs his shoulder comfortingly, running his thumb gently against his clavicle.

“I’m sure they’re not intimidated by your intellect, but by how cute you are. Starfleet is mostly nerds who want to look impressive and jocks who couldn’t make it through basic training for the military,” Hikaru jokes, and Pavel laughs.

Then he realizes that Hikaru called him cute and his cheeks redden brightly.

“You’re too nice...” Pavel trails off, unsure of what else to say. He’s not used to being complimented on his looks.

“I’m not nice, trust me,” Hikaru laughs, hand resting on Pavel’s shoulder, thumb right at the base of his neck. Pavel tries to remember how to breathe.

“Then I will just have to make sure you have no reason to dislike me,” Pavel replies, reaching up to grab Hikaru’s hand.

There’s a tense moment as surprise and panic flashes across Hikaru’s face, but before Pavel can say anything, it’s gone, and the cool, calm, collectedness is back.

“Sorry about that,” Hikaru says sheepishly, taking his hand back. “I’m very tactile. It’s the way I learn and I remember people best when I actually touch them and know what they feel like.”

“You can touch me as much as you would like,” Pavel blurts out before he can stop himself. “I mean, I want you to remember me well, so do what you must.” Pavel can’t stop wondering who else Hikaru has touched and if he’s ever caressed their necks and shoulders. He wonders what it would be like to have those soft, yet worn hands on other parts of him, holding and teasing him into ecstasy.

“I’m weird, sorry,” Hikaru says, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t make friends easily, and I like touching people. I’m a bit of a contradiction.”

Pavel takes Hikaru’s hand in his own and squeezes. “We are alike in that way, then. Well, I don’t like being touched by people I do not know, but I like being touched. The only problem is that no one wants to know me,” Pavel smiles sadly and lets go of Hikaru’s hand.

“I want to know you,” Hikaru says quietly, taking a step closer to Pavel. “I hope this isn’t too forward, and if you want me to back off, just say the word, but I’d like to really get to know you on a more than friendly level.”

Pavel is pretty sure he’s always going to remember this moment, this admission of genuine romantic interest and how his heart threatened to rip through his rib cage from how violently it beat.

“I think I would like that,” Pavel tries nervously, and Hikaru gives him a smile and a quick laugh.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve just been noticing you notice me and I’m extremely impressed by how you carry yourself better than certain senior officers who won’t be named.” Hikaru pauses as Pavel laughs, then continues, “I’m also impressed by your skill and personality. You’re always so upbeat and ready to jump to any task given to you. Plus, I’ve noticed you watching me.”

Pavel’s heart drops straight to the floor. “I’m sorry! I hope I did not make you uncomfortable!”

Waving him off with a laugh, Hikaru explains, “I wasn’t uncomfortable, but I was interested. I thought it was pretty cute how you just sort of stared at me point blank in front of everyone. Everyone on the bridge has noticed, but I didn’t want to call you out on it and embarrass you.”

“Well, consider me very embarrassed right now,” Pavel groans, slapping his forehead. “I am sorry.”

Hikaru grabs him by the shoulders and squeezes. “You don’t need to apologize. I’m glad you were so obvious, or else I wouldn’t have tried to talk to you today.”

Pavel blushes and gives him a small smile. “I have eidetic memory.”

Hikaru’s head tilts as he tries to remember the meaning of the word. “Total recall, right?”

“Yes. I don’t know why I decided to bring it up, but I think you should know that about me.”

“That’s interesting,” Hikaru nods approvingly. “So you’ll remember if I do something like this?” He leans down and tilting Pavel’s face towards his with a finger, kisses him softly on the mouth. Pavel inhales as his eyes flutter shut and quickly memorizes the sensation of lips against his, how those gentle callouses feel on the tender underside of his chin.

Hikaru breaks the kiss and searches Pavel’s face for a response, and Pavel says, “Yes, I will always remember that. Maybe another to be sure?”

Hikaru snorts amusedly, then resumes kissing Pavel, and Pavel is very certain he is always going to remember this very moment and how the montage of memories in his head simply stopped when they began.


End file.
